Repairing a Hurtful Comment About Sexual Performance
A joke or frustrated remark landed badly, and now your partner seems guarded. Explaining that you did not mean it may be true, but it may not address the hurt. Repair begins with taking the impact seriously.
Name what you said
Try “My comment about your erection was hurtful. I'm sorry.” Avoid adding a defence that shifts responsibility back to them. Ask whether they want to talk, and allow time if they are not ready.
Change the way you talk
Discuss concerns without insults, comparisons or scorekeeping. Do not expect affection or sex as evidence that the apology has been accepted. If performance comments have become a repeated pattern, consider relationship support to work on it together.