Noticing a Change in Desire Without Keeping Score
You remember the last few times you initiated, and the tally keeps growing in your head. It may reflect a real concern, but counting can make every affectionate moment feel like evidence. You can take the feeling seriously without turning the relationship into a ledger.
Name what the numbers mean to you
Perhaps you want to feel wanted or worry that closeness is disappearing. Say that directly rather than opening with a record of who did what. Ask about your partner's experience as well as sharing your own.
Choose a conversation over a verdict
Discuss what would help each of you feel connected and what is getting in the way. Avoid making sex repayment for previous refusals. If the pattern remains painful, a therapist can help you work through it without deciding that one person is the problem.